Log:Something I Can Never Have
Lucas is, reliably, still pounding away at this yearbook spread, revised a bit, withthe people who have wronged he and his and not heeding the warning, are being very minimized. The truth is late in the day the yearbook room is shaped like a pinwheel in 4 parts, the smallest being the dark room, then the archives, the drafting and layout cutting area people use to hand crop things, and then the small computer lab where 5-6 people sit typing things out. Right now Lucas is, alone, sitting at the layouts table working on how he wnats to crop their source material with all of the lights off but the lightbox. Everyone else is roaming around because let's be real, News is out there and not in here. In here? In here it is dark and Lucas really doesn't look so hot but he's still propping himself up and trying to do... anything productive today.
Hector taps lightly on the door before aproaching warily. It doesn't do to startle Lesters. He is careful to keep his tone friendly. It doesn't do to offend Marchants. "Hey man, we need to talk." He double checks to make sure he's addressing the correct twin. It took him all the way to the window incident to figure out which name went with which face as far as the twins go.
Lucas is both and his reputation for being great, terrible, the fixer, and the breaker have clearly held up. Eyebrow arches and curiosity becomes immediate reservation. On one hand? Morrison's feathers got ruffled once and that's all it took to form Lucas' opinion on little information. On the other hand? Silver asked him not to destroy him in tiny print and cutting words. And so? And so Lucas has mostly avoided him, but here they are now and that leaves them exactly where they started: Right in the middle.
"About?" His eyes flinch against the backlighting from the other room looking up at Hector's silhouetted form. His attention goes back to the layout organizing how he's going to arrange things for the spread on Science Olympiad. Apparently that is also an invite to continue.
Hector isn't entirely clear on how exactly Lucas and his brother are related to morrison on the one hand and Jade onthe other, but he knows how much Morrison cares abut the twins, which is a recomendatio he doesn't take lightly, even if other factors argue in other ways. "My Sister. Silver, not Star." he puls up a chair and sits backwards so he can cross his arms along the top of it. He's in a Pansy Division tour shirt and black cut offs. His new haircit is neat, the hair on the top of his head just long enough to curl. He has the heavy class ring with the black soe on his left index finger and a thin bandage circling the ring finger on his left hand. "What exactly are you ingtentions towards her? I ask, because I thought you were getting close." That's one word for it, "But now I hear you didn't call her next day." He is careful to keep his tone light, non-accusatory.
ROLL: Hector rolls Brains+1 for: : x1 : x1 : x2 (Pair) : x1 -- Match Value: 1 (Raw: 6 8 5 2 6 -- d8)
ROLL: Lucas rolls spirit+1 for: : x1 : x1 : x1 : x2 (Pair) -- Match Value: 1 (Raw: 6 4 1 5 6 -- d6)
Lucas pauses and looks up, "Beeeecause I was still there the following day, for one, and she's my best friend for the other?" There's a pause boggling, "And I got grounded through the rest of the damn year for the third." His jaw sets and he looks up to Hector, eyes narrowing slightly, but not about to put him off his chair.
"Look, because you're her brother, I'll be straight with you, but because you got up in the face with mine? Morrison?" There's the lightening in that look that is, in all its subtlty still hurt and still angry, "You're lucky I don't tell you to go eat a bench." Well at least he's open about this.
His weight shifts to his back foot, palms resting on the edge of the desk taking hte moment, expertly, to regather himself. "So here's the thing. My intentions? Graduate. Make sure she graduates. Keep Silver alive as long as possible." Ever the responsible one somehow. "We got duped by Fran and her cronies and next thing we know the day is blistering and as far as I can tell we stole a boat and... may have engaged in some very personal behavior." Way to be judicious on that one Lucas. The look says it all, but the Marchant in him holds. That he doesn't even go into detail might also highlight historic evidence that he in four years has never once spoken of his relationships. Not to friends, not in boast, not in jest, and not even to tear at anyone who allegedly dated him as he generally near never confirms nor denies these relationships.
Really now that he brings it up, and the discomfort it's causing him it becomes acutely evident how very private the twin is for being a very public figure in the school. Eyes steely and patient with a wall of emotion pressed behind them keep his words tight and quiet. "The morning after we almost lost our house, our family, and our future. There's no possible way forme to explain this to you in a way you can feasibly appreciate my personal situation right now, but it has nothing to do with your sister, my friend in any negative capacity. Shit I was going to ask her if she wanted to stick around and hang out but she took off."
Hector winces at the grounding. He looks honestly startled by the bit about Morrison, but then he meets Lucus' eyes and says initially calmly but with rising passion, "What happened between me and Morrison is exactly that. Between _us._ I'm sorry it ended up getting a public airing. It wasn't a good look for either of us. For what it's worth, I shut people down when they call him that name in front of me and I've asked my friends to do the same. I'm an adult. I wasn't drunk or drugged. The age thing was an accident and he doesn't deserve the shit people are giving him over it, and I tell that to people every fucking time. Also? Last I checked we worked all that shit out and get along okay, so maybe check with him before defending him against someone who is doing his best to... figure out how to... be a friend to him in the best way I can, which is right now trying to mostly stay out of his way and get people to stop... Nevermind.
Hector takesa deep breath and lets it out slowly, "Look, I really care about Silver. She... she's beejn trying to be normal around you like everything's okay, but it's really not. I want to keep her alive too and part of that is helping her... want to fight. I am here because she.... Look, I'm asking your intentions because she needs someone who will love her and fight for her. I barely know you and you barely know me, but if you care about her, dude, now would be a good time to step up. If you don't? I need to know that so I can... I don't know help her pick up the pieces. i'm not letting fran get anyone if I can help it and I'm definately not bandoning my sister to that bitch." He lifts his chin challenging.
ROLL: Lucas rolls spirit+2 for: : x1 : x2 (Pair) : x2 (Pair) : x1 -- Match Value: 2 (Raw: 3 6 2 2 1 3 -- d6)
ROLL: Hector rolls Spirit+1 for: : x1 : x1 : x1 : x2 (Pair) -- Match Value: 1 (Raw: 4 1 5 6 6 -- d6)
ROLL: Lucas rolls spirit+1 for: : x2 (Pair) : x1 : x1 : x1 -- Match Value: 1 (Raw: 2 2 5 6 3 -- d6)
Lucas takes a very slow deep breath and just stares. This is that same look Lucas had when he may have legit pushed Cash out a window for walking in on her. Now? Discussing her well-being? It comes back up, and that look comes back as if there was some invisible line and that great and terrible rage that sits like lava below the Earth's mantle just bubbled up and cracked the surface. If the table flips and Lucas were to walk him to the wall no one would be remotely surprised in the slightest.
His foot looks around his stool behind him and drags it closer and his shoulders slacken. "Shut the door." His hand reaches up and rubs at his eye and he says, "Look, they not taking Silver okay?" The sigh is long and resolute. Looking up to Hector he lets the guy calm down off ...whatever is going on with him to say in a sort of way that suggests finality, "Look we woke up on that boat aaaaaand, when I figured out what... happened? It felt really bad man. I mean the odds of us seeing anyone after high school? The math really just ain't thereto worry about too many people. That's just statistical fact. What Fran took from Sil though?" His eyes narrow to Hector as he finds the source of his anger in this and words to make manifest to be perfectly and appropriately theatrical on the point, "I'm really pissed. That you three assholes came through her window and took that from her again? Yeah. I'm still pretty pissed but it is what it is, and so long as she's not traumatized?" his jaw sets, eyes closing. The words quietly. "Then fine." Say what anyone will, it meant something to him.
Pushing off of the table to lean back in his chair his feet plant on either side of the chair. "She's really into Zane and I feel for her. Mona gets what Mona wants and the world all stands in line. It sucks but there will be life after High School... we hope. We all... hope. If you learn anything about your sister, man, she's brilliant and unstoppable and at some point? She's going figure that out and it'll be awesome. But the truth? We have to live first and everyone's going 'Lucas, what do we do?' and the raw fact is we're all guessing." There's a pause and he pulls in a breath to hold it, "If I could clone the guy so she could be happy? I would. If I could find a centrifuge to clean the shit out of her blood so no one has to lay awake at night going that was too god damn close? " His hand wipes sideways in the air, "In a heartbeat. I can't. But she's not fighting alone."
Eyes shift to the side and then down at the edge of the table, "Truth is I almost didn't make it. It was only because I was awake enough and I had to see this look of pure...terror in my brother's eyes that I'm still able to sit here and that?" His fingers curl into fists at the edge of the desk and he falls dead silent, "We have huge things that we need to worry about, but... tell her I ain't one of em if you talk to her before I so. No one's leaving her behind. She's got college to get to."
Hector eyes him warily, but goes and shuts it, not taking his eyes off Lucas. Hector gives Lucas his space and time until he's ready to talk again. He says softly, "I know. We talked about it. She hasn't been my sister long, but I am trying very hard to be a good brother to her. I am angry at what fran stole from her and I'm sorry we ruined what might have been a second chance for her. We were running for our lives. From Fran. Do you think I am enjoying living like a fugative? If I had known Fran would come for us like that we wouldn't have been there. My not forseeing it? That is on me and I'm sorry for that."
He sighs, "Mona gets what Mona wants, yes." He settles back in his seat, eyes sad, "What Silver wants is a real boyfriend. One who will love her and do... all the romatic little things. We may none of us live until graduation, though I'm doing my damnedest to get us there. I'm not asking you what can we do. I am asking you: Can you love her like that? The way she needs to be loved right now? Can you give her something good and beautiful and real that is worth resisting for? Can you do for her what I'm trying to do for Cash?"
Lucas slouches back and remains, well, his usual stoic self. It's not thta he's callous, but he is really cut out for the profession ahead of him that is for certain. It's not that Lucas doesn't have feelings evidently but they are easily as staid as Morrison's or Theodore's or aspiring to be. He watches and hears Hector out for a long time and says, "That... ain't me man."
He really hates giving bad news but he's not a liar. To her anywas. His shoulders sang and his eyes stay locked on Hector. Good lord he has ripped more than a few pages out of Morrison's book and eaten them to graft to his being. "To be honest I don't knwo what you're asking of me. Will I fight teh world with her? Sure. Did I follow her into this mess? Yeah. Do I hold her responsible for any of it?" His nose wrinkles, "God no." Unthinkable really, but the look rests on Hector curious, "I don't know what you're trying to do for Cash. He's not on my radar." Maybe too honest. "I..." He sighs shaking his head, "Genuinly don't...know what you're asking of me."
Hector's shoulders slump, and he says "Damn," very quietly and in a resigned voice. He is sudying Lucas under lowered lashes, looking for resemblances to his older brother perhaps, but what he finds or doesn't find he keeps to himself. "If you can't love her, then I think... I'll need to do some thinking."
Lucas boggles at Hector, "First off, you need to not drink at lunch. Second, we're in fucking high school. What the shit to we know about love?" His eyes narrow and his voice picks up a slight edge to it, "Everything was fine. Don't mess it up, Hector." His lower eyelids pull up , "I don't know what the hell love is or what it has to do with survival but if you're going to try to convince her that no one gives a shit and she gets hurt? I'm coming" he points with his first and last finger, "for you." This is in particular a promise. "Dude, you're new at being her brother but she's been my best friend for like years. If you don't think I give a shit about about my people you have not been paying attention." Drawing a deeo breath i order to jsut keep his temper he murmurs, "She and I need to talk."
Hector rolls his eyes, "I gave up alchohol and weed for the duration. I even gave up cloves." He takes a breath and lets it out. "It's not fine. Did you see her last night? She's not fine. I'm her brother; there's only so much I can do. What I knows is that having a furture to look forward to and someone to love in the present makes it easier to resist the call of the blood." He looks him over, something dark and hard in his eyes, "It wasn't just a beautiful first time she wanted, but I think you are not the man I'd hoped you were. I'm trying to convince her that life is worth living, that her future is worth resisting for. You definately need to have a talk with her, yes. Which is what I came here about."
ROLL: Lucas rolls spirit+1 for: : x4 (Set) : x1 -- Match Value: 4 (Raw: 1 1 1 5 1 -- d6)
Lucas goes very still as the words stab at him. If Hector was looking to have an impact here, he did and it is likely the opposite of the one he was looking for. It's when Hector tells him "you are not the man I'd hoped you were" that there's a distinct, sharp flinch of hurt as if physically struck. The words seem to cut far deeper than intended at a old wounds buried deep. For the briefest of seconds he looks to Hector with hurt, and like he's been betrayed, and then? And then the emotion washes from his face and even through his body language entirely sealed off.
Hector probably didn't mean to, but this is what happens when you poke a Marchant in the feelings. They go all professional and shut up like a bank vault until there's automation. In Lucas' case he might have checked out entirely. Quietly, and very calmly he says, posture now upright and practiced, "Well, you've... made it very clear you know better than I do about all matters of these things." He flips the lightboard off leaving the room dark but for the EXIT signs in the room and the light coming from under either door. "Clearly I'm not needed here." His backpack unzips and his book is efficiently slid off the desk to get packed away.. The dark he has no issue with in the dim lightening. This he takes to.
ROLL: Hector rolls Brains+1 for: : x1 : x1 : x1 : x1 : x1 -- Match Value: 0 (Raw: 7 1 6 8 5 -- d8)
Hector catches the change in expression, but he doesn't make the leap to the why of it. He looks genuinely baffle. "I never said I knew everything. Jesus!" He takes a breath, rising, "I'm not trying to chase you out of your space either. You don't need to go." There is something subtle going on behind his eyes, that comparison again perhaps, "You don't owe me anything and I wasn't trying to heavy foot you. I just... please talk to her, okay?" he backs slowly away, never taking his eyes off Lucas, the opisite of how he would handle Morrison.
Lucas could be a perfect robot of himself; the longer he's observed the more still he becomes until he's staring back at Hector. Something jsut switched ofer, or maybe showing empathy in public is the sham all along. Right now there's an emotional reading of 0, and if his goal is to be a stone cold contract lawyer he's got the poker face to do it. Shouldering his bag he 6' ball player stands staring impassivly as the light comes back into the room, "You haven't got the artillery to be able to scare me, Hector. It's fine." It's not a brag, or a boast, or belittlement. It's just the fact of it,a nd possibly assurance by way of raw information. Finally, there is the faintest inflection in his voice "I never stopped talking to her." He blinks and without another word slides his sunglasses back on and moves into the hall past. This demeanor doesn't change for the remainder of the day.
Hector says softly, eyes sad and a little distant, "I wasn't trying to offend you or scare you. I am sorry." He watches him go, thinking of Morrison, of many things, but not the useful ones.