Log:Love and Stardust
With Prom the next day, Cash should be getting rest. He did celebrate the last of the finals with Felicity and all three of the...whatever they were, had enjoyed the evening but even after all of that, Cash couldn't sleep. He couldn't even stay in bed. He wound up sitting on the cluttered second bed, writing in his blue lyrical notebook. That didn't last long. It's after midnight when he is gently shaking Hector awake. "Hey. Come with me, please? I have to get out of here." His eyes were big and pleading. "I know exactly where I want to go, it's over the state line and into the desert so it's totally out of town and far from..." He doesn't finish. "I need to look at the stars. I-I...maybe I'm just getting night time cabin fever? Come and bring the weed."
Cash apparently won this battle. An hour later, they are over the California/Arizona state line and have driven into the desert. It's near a state park but it's far enough from civilization that the stars are plentiful and sparkle in the night sky. It's chilly so Cash gets to wear his leather jacket, complete with the pink triangle on the lapel. He sits on the truck, reclined on the back window and stares into the sky. "Gosh. Look at it. You don't get that sky everywhere, you know?"
Hector responds to the shaking, by pulling Cash into a slow kiss, eyes still closed nd morning breath be damned. "Okay. Find me pants. I'll need a few." He retreats to the bathroom to cope with the awake thing and certain basic needs. He emerges with a baggie and is soon dressed and ready to go.
he's got on the coat with all the buttons, the one that is completely infused with his scent and old clove smoke. He leans against Cash, fingers rolling a joint while he gazes up into it, "You could just fall into it, like asea."
"I want to sometimes." Cash admits with unease. "Or just disappear. Disappear anywhere." He shakes his head. "I can't run away from my problems but it would be nice to just vanish into something beautiful." He snickers. "I sound high already. I'm restless. I have times where I don't sleep well or at all, you know? Nothing to do with the...V word. This is one of those times. I'm sad too. I don't know why though. Maybe because things are about to change?" He shrugs and turns to bury his nose into Hector's coat. "God, it's so you. Pack this up in plastic when you can. Preserve the smell...these moments."
Hector strokes his hair, "I think everyone feels like that some times, but I think it's better to go on. Loving and being loved. having new adventures. Trying new things. Being comfortable in the quiet with people you love. Things change. Some times it's better, like us finding each other or Felicity coming back. Sometimes it's vampires. All things that are alive change. I'd rather be a live tree even if i risk a lightning strike, then petrified wood, and for all this change? you're going to have us. And this coat, which i will wrap in plastic for you."
"Thank you." Cash says, quietly. He's keeps his eyes up at the sky. "Vampires live forever, you know? They don't seem to do much aging and while there is the whole...bloodsucking downside. Have you considered it? Even for a moment? Just the idea of living forever. Imagine always having one another and being as young and hot as we are now? I did. A few times. I couldn't kill people is where I ended up. But the rest sounds kinda nice."
Hector shakes his head no, "I don't like them. I do not want to be a slave to some terrible bully forever. I don't want to be trapped here. I don't want to die in a vampire civil war. I don't want to kill people to live. You forever sounds amazing, but I'd rather you forever where we can surf in the sun and be free. All things considered, I'd rather have you and sun and surf and a natural lifespan than the alternative.
"When you put it that way..." Cash says, with a little laugh. He sniffles and tears flow from this eyes. "I'm okay. I'm a little overwhelmed is all. This has been so hard these last few months and now that I can see the finish line..." He shakes his head. "Did you finish that joint?" He digs in his pockets for a lighter. A silver zippo with a Union Jack pressed into in. He looks at it and laughs. "I forgot I had this one. My uncle sneaks something neat into all the jackets he gives me. I'm supposed to get my next jacket tomorrow if I stop by before Prom prep." He looks at Hector now, eyes glinting damp in the moonlight. "I'm going to ask Felicity...not a proposal. A promise. I have measured her finger while she was asleep a few nights ago so I'm going to pick out a ring and promise to continue to work towards a solid relationship and, when she's ready, we'll step up." He's blushing a little. "Is that an awful idea?"
Hector leaves his arm around Cash, but waggles the joint, "You want to smoke direct or filter it through my lungs first to protect your throat?" Is that how it works physiologically? Hector doesn't care. "Might I have this one? When you get the new jacket?" He considers the question of felicity seriously, "If she's willing I am, Cashew. We're still working on our dynamic, but there isn't question in my mind she belongs."
Cash exhales, sounding relieved. "That's the point, it's a promise to--no, it's a way of saying, 'I love you and want you with me and Hector and even though Hector and I took the leap already, you are still a part of this. So, it's a promise, Not a proposal. No wedding bells or anything. Just a commitment." He takes the joint. "Of course you can have this coat. I don't need it like I used to with the cool handmade leather bracelets he gave me. Which, by the way, I'm asking for them back before Prom. It's been long enough for scenting." The lights the joint, takes a hit and passes it. He holds and releases, coughing harder than usual. He waves his hand, indicating he's fine. Once he's finished, he says, hoarsely. "I have to see the throat doctor anyway this summer. I think I have a nodule on my cord. I did more singing and talking these last six months than...ever. A joint before I can't smoke at all isn't going to make anything worse."
Hector nods, "Makes sense." He nuzzles him, "I hope it goes okay." He takes a long drag, sighing as he sweet sweet smoke hits his lungs, relaxing into Cash. "Man, I missed this." He is thinking of being pleasantly buzzed, sitting on the beach with Cash, the sounds of a party in the distance. "I love you so damned much."
Cash takes the joint and when he leans over Hector, three wet, heavy tears fall. Cash is on his back and inhaling. He coughs softly. Or sobs. It's hard to tell. "I-I love you too." He rasps, unable to hide his emotion. "I don't know if I have the right words..." He sniffles. "I...I think there are people in your life that the moment they enter it, you are no longer the same person. For good or bad, you are changed fundamentally the moment you meet. The Cash who left town last summer and ended up at the Dyke March, singing More Than Words...changed the second our eyes met. I'm not the same anymore. It's a good thing in my case. I'm a better person for having you in my life."
Hector gently licks the tears from Cash's face, "My life is so much better with you in it, I can't imagine who I'd me now without you."
Cash pushes Hector away, playfully. "I would have...never spoken to you. I'm imagining if I didn't run away." He laughs a little. "Spear would have been nice to you though so..." He laughs out loud, all of a sudden. "Dude. Duuude. If I didn't run away and you ended up here anyway? I would have probably left Spear for you." He laughs again, wheezing. "I mean, anything related to summer aside, music would have brought us together. Fuck! Destiny, Sky. Fate." He laughs breathlessly.
Hector laughs and steals the joint for another toke, eyelids drooping, "You were worth it, and I think things turned out perfectly, for Spear and for me. Destiny or Luck or stubborn, I ended up with the right guy... Oh man, I want to get so stoned we fall up into the sky and make love among the stars.... how'd you feel about amusement parks?"
Cash laughs. "Yes, I want to be just covered in sweat and stardust with you." Cash takes another hit and that and passes it back. "Put it out. It's been too long since I was last stoned. I might get up and wander into the desert." He carefully slides off the trunk and offers his hand. "Get in the backseat with me, for in case we fall asleep. We could wake up with the most wicked sunburn on our face and ruin the prom pictures. Oh! Amusement parks! I love rollercoasters! But it's so noisy in the parks. So much going on overwhelms me easier than usual. Eventually, I started stuffing torn napkins into my ears and wearing shades. I was a just a kid then. Now? I can probably go with just ear plugs if I went when the crowds are thinner."
Hector takes a last good toke and pinhes it out with wet fingers and tucks it carefully in the tin he carries for the purpose. He takes the hand and follows with a goofy grin, "How about we go in the off season and get you baked before we go in. You have your shades and your ear plugs. Felicity and I could look out for you so you can be as stoned as you need to be."
Cash, ever the gentleman, opens the door for Hector. "Oh, man. Stoned rollercoaster riding with my favorite trip sitters." He chuckles as he crosses to the other side and gets into the plush backseat. I'll be strange enough with ear plugs. Only need the glasses if it gets dark. That many flashing and flickering lights would drive me up a wall. Plus, having you and Felicity there would make it so much better. Distraction helps. And, again, so would being stoned. Oh, fuck man." He starts giggling again. "It's the best idea or the worst idea ever. I'd still do it but..." He just shakes his head.
Hector grins, "Maybe after this mess is over we can come back out here with red and drop some of my good Reed blotter and she can trip sit us for real. Rearrange out mental furniture." He kissees him long and deep, hands everywhere, "I want to take you on all kinds of adventures. I miss being really free too."
Cash returns the kiss in kind. His hands are trying to get under that coat. "Adventures..." He whispers as he parts to breath. "Freedom. God...." He sighs. "I didn't know what that really was until I met you. Summer days with nowhere to be and a whole city filled with activities. Not counting the beach and parties. Just being myself and not trying to figure out what people wanted me to be and failing at it. Just being me and if it didn't work, I'd keep moving until I found my home. And it turns out, home was with you the whole time."
Hector is rather busy what with the kissing and the trying to get cash's shirt off, "It's going o be like that, Love, for the rest of our lives. You'll always have a hme and two people there who never need you to pretend."
Cash pulls away, gently. "Let me get it." He slips off his jacket and t-shirt. Before he heads back into the fray, he asks, "You promise?" His eyes are suddenly huge and innocent. "Promise me you will never leave me. Things happen, people die. I can't hold you to that but...I don't want to live a life without you in it. So, promise you will do everything you can...promise me, again, I suppose and I'll never ask again."
Hector takees the oppurtunity to devest of coat and shirt, "To death do we part, Angel Love. you are always going to be safe at home." He strokes his jaw, "Cashew Love, I can't promise never to die, but i want to live a good long life with the two of you, put I swore to stay with you always when you took me back at the school pool and I swore it again after we got these tattoos. I'm yours for always. I never want it any other way. I promise you. I will stay with you. I will promise as often as you need me too, My husband."
"Alright." Cash says, nodding a little. "I'm satisfied. I believe you. You can't stop death, of course. But you can be here. That's what I want. What I need." He sniffles, wipes his face. "You know that I hate change so, I'm used to you now." He chuckles before returning to Hector's arms.
Hector sings "Because I could not stop for death, he kindly stopped for me..." to the tune of 'The yellow Rose of Texas' until his own giggles hut him off. He holds him tight, "Any changes that come, Red and I will help you through. You never need to be alone."