Log:It Can't All Be For Nothing
The first time, the noise woke him up. Anything was a cacophony to a formerly deaf man.
The second time was peaceful. No voices. No delusions.
Now, the third time, there was pain. Not the pain that had plagued his leg, back, and hip. No, this was an pain in his chest. A psychic pain. The pain of grief. The pain of guilt.
When he sits up and the lights come on, Jody’s fear of the dark comes back and his own heart skips a beat. Then the highlight reel of this last encounter begins but being who he is, it manifests in its own way. A face, a name, a memory, a feeling. Each person he met becomes accounted for and stored away in that infinite memory of his. There are so many this time. A town’s worth of people he loved more than himself by the end. Family. Friends. Almost lovers.
The guilt of the lives he ruined or attempted to washes over him and he covers his mouth to stifle the cry. Who was Joseph DeWitt? Was it really him? Was he capable of such dark acts? But, Eilis...Cillian and Nettie. Through them, he had some absolution. Some cleansing. But The Confidant does not feel clean. He gets to his feet and gets dressed. He enjoys the return of his full range of motion but as he head to the door, marker in hand, there is the last reminder.
The black cane with the silver and ivory handle. As with each of these mementos, he handles it with care, placing it on the shelf in his closet. He takes a moment to wonder what’s next for this shelf. Just a moment though. He has a job here at the Facility.
Back at the door, he opens it and peers out. Others are here. He can hear them. They need him and he needs them. He uncaps the marker and writes on his door, as he does every time he wakes up.
This door is always open
He looks at the message and it feels empty. Something Jody said comes back to him. He adds, just beneath it.
Remember: It can’t be all for nothing
With that, he caps the marker and strides out into the Facility for the third time. He has amends to make, apologies to give and a big open heart to offer.