Log:(Un)Sexy Sauna Sleepover
Cash left for the sauna as soon as he could, clearly upset. By the time Felicity and Hector catch up, he's already made himself comfortable on the floor. He sits on a whole pile of stolen blankets and sleeping bags, guitar on hand. The tune he plays, Tracy Chapman's Fast Car, might be a hint of what's on his mind. He's not singing either, just playing it from memory it seems. Moody Cash is mood.
Felicity has her own share of pillows and sleeping bag and things, also her backpack. She drops her stuff in a corner and studies Cash from a couple steps away. "Do you want hugs? Do you want to yell at us? I think I have some pennies for your thoughts. Well, silver dollars anyway. Pennies always seemed a little cheap for thoughts." She's got her serious look on.
Hector brings food and the duffle, which he sets down. He lets Felicity do the talking. He just watches Cash without looking at him and hums along. His voice is good, but not cash good.
Cash finishes the song first, at least through the chorus. Hector's voice is the reason from the way he looks at him. It's sidelong and unhappy but somehow, it's still loving and he sighs a little with relief. When he stops, he says, "Pennies are all my thoughts are worth, if that." He leans on his polished black guitar, his eyes focused on the far corner. "I'm always just yelling into a storm. I'm invisible and voiceless until I say something dickish and suddenly, everyone can hear me and see me. I'm tired." He chuckles, mirthlessly. "Fighting vampires. Motel arson. Perfectly fine conversation. Ignore Cash over there. Voice of fucking reason. I just want to get out of this town and begin my life. Courting danger is so fucking stupid right now. Right at the end, man..." He laments.
Felicity continues to study Cash and finally drifts forward to curl up near him and reach out a hand to just lightly rest it on his knee. "I'm sorry I made you feel like you weren't being seen or heard. I... working things out is part of my thought process. I need to run through the numbers on the stupid idea and then I can be sure it's stupid. We've all decided that burning down the motel is a bad idea or at least seriously premature. And, I think we're trying to find a way to avoid fighting the vampires, mostly by getting them to fight each other. I don't know why they didn't turn up tonight. Maybe it's over, but I also don't think we can rely on that. I'm suspicious of easy wins and this feels... too easy to me."
She seems like she is trying very, very hard to be calm and clear.
Hector flashes him a quick smile at the end, "I wouldn't say that, Angel Love." He takes a breath and approaches, "Like she says, we aren't burning the hotel. I was the one worrying aout innocent housekeeping staff and the like when it first came up. The other plan? It's a matter of weighing risks. We heard you, I promise." He comes to sit crosslegged by him the other side, "I brought my flute if we want to jam later." He takes a breath, "I do still want to get out of here to safety. I just worry about what happens to Sil and them when they don't drink. They all aren't leaving until fall. She's my sister." A fingertip traces the whorl of Cash's ear, "I don't know why they didn't come tonight. Maybe it was to lull the adults into thinking everyone's in the clear, maybe something else, but I don't think it's over either. I wish it were, but I need to protect Silver if it isn't."
Cash flinches from every touch, more so than he would normally. "Sorrysorry..." He takes Felicity's hand. "I'm scared, you know? No one in that room faced them like we did. They don't know. And..." He pauses and leans against Hector. "I've never been so happy in my life. That's not to say I was miserable and depressed before, uh, before whenever. It's like I'm deliriously happy--well, not right now, but overall, you know? And I just want to hold on as tight to you two as I can." He throws an arm around Felicity to demonstrate this, squeezing her and kissing the side of her head. "I know how you think. I trust you, your judgement and intelligence. I wasn't upset with you, Fel."
Clearly, Hector is the issue here. Cash shifts to regard him. "You can't protect everyone. You need to consider your priorities." His voice shakes but his jaw sets. "I'm going to do you a solid and /not/ tell you what they should be." He exhales slowly. "As for the vampires? I don't know what's the deal. I take wins as they come. Tonight was a win." He leans back against the benches. "Maybe if...they are redirected, we can sneak out of this and be clear."
Felicity takes a deep breath and leans in against Cash's side, resting against him like the contact settles her. "I think there are priorities, but one of them should be taking care of our families. Maybe not top, Self, first, because you need to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. Each other, because... that's what this kind of relationship is, I hope. But family should make the list. And sometimes... you do what's most immediate or needs the help most. Triage is a thing. So, if we've missed something and you need us to be doing something different, tell us, but you have to explain. Which I know is hard. And you have to let us weigh it against our other obligations and the need they have."
She sighs softly and looks up at Cash. "Oh, yeah, also, speaking of family, what's your problem with Sky, anyway?" She frowns, "He was... important to me."
Hector tries to curl an arm around his waist when he leans. He listens though and asks, "How upset are you, Love?" He closes his eyes and says softly, "I very, very much want to live and run away home with you and have the three of us together in L.A. in fall. I want the house in Rancho Cucamonga with te dog and cats. I want to grow old making music togeter. I mean that." He opens his eyes, but is careful about the direction of his gaze, "It's just I want everyone else to live, especially Spear and Silver. Of course this is incredibly important, Love, but I can't just... abandon people I care about to die. I don't think I'd be the man you fell in love with if I did." He is studying cash carefully out of the corner of his eyes, "Redirecting is dangerous, but it feels safer than hoping they don;t murder us out of revenge for no letting you and the others drink again, or the for resisting. I know it's scary, but all of this was scary. I can't unsee that wheel coming at your head, Love, and I can't trust it will be okay if we ignore it."
He winces at her question, the images of what happened the end of last summer playing through his head. His tone goes flat with the pain of it, "The cops really hurt him. It was my fault."
"No problem with Sky. Cops though? I was a minor troublemaker after you moved and then I was a teenaged runaway and I--" Cash is close enough to the both of them that they can feel the tension snap into his form. "You couldn't have predicted the outcome, Hector. You are forgiven." He looks back to Felicity. "The cops did a number on me. I was melting down and hurting myself and fighting back. Ended up on 72 hour hold." He's never drawn attention to the small, pale scars around his wrists and hands until he pushes up the new leather bracelets. "Handcuffs are unyielding and I was unhinged. I don't even recall much of that night after the cops showed up. Next thing I recall, they were stitching the back of my head." He shakes his head a little. "Apologize to Sky for me. I know how you feel about him. I'm an asshole, remember?"
"We all have our ways of loving one another. I can't tell either of you what to do. I won't try. I'm running out of energy and I need all of it to finish high school to get to that fucking house in fucking...where?" He pauses and snorts. "I'm not focusing on myself. So, I will follow my own advice."
Hector's eyes say he'll never forgive himself, but he knows better than to argue about it. He whispers, the pain in his voice roughening it, "I begged them not to hurt him, to let him have his coat, but they wouldn't listen or stop or..." He looks at her, "It was bad, Felicity." He shrugs, "It was an idea for later. Or somewhere like that up North. Somewhere we could have pets when there's more money, and a garden. Cities can be a lot." He takes a breath, "Cash, I love you. All of you. Better or worse. I don't know if I can be other than I am. Do you need me to... try?"
Felicity's eyes go wide and she looks absolutely stricken. "Oh. Oh god. I'm so sorry. That's..." She seems to run out of words, just sort of staring up at Cash, though not meeting his eyes. "I love you. I wish I knew how to make that better. And you're not an asshole. You are sometimes overwhelmed and say hurtful things, but you're not an asshole. I've met assholes. You aren't one."
She takes another deep breath and snuggles in a little more, dropping her attention. "Okay. Is there something you can think of that the two of us can do, other than abandoning our family and friends, that would help with your energy? 'Cause I love you. And I really don't want to lose you."
Cash groans and leans over to Hector, giving him a little kiss and head nudge. "You are forgiven. I love you. /You/. As you are." He pulls away and shrugs as he glances at Felicity. "So with the moon phasing out, I was considering...fucking off somewhere for a few nights. Maybe just like, a fucking campground near the beach. Somewhere quiet to just fucking forget about this until...well, dress rehearsal is this week and then it's a freight train of play, prom, finals, then graduation. So, let's cut out before we have to be responsible?"
Hector kisses back gentle as first snow. "Tent or couch surf, let me know. I know Felicity and I wanted to take you and just, enjoy weird nooks and corners of the city we liked."
Felicity winces. "I can't. I would, but... Ellen sent Sky after me because I've been gone too many nights with the last party and the seance. I wish... But seriously, I think they'd kill me. Maybe if we ask very nicely and tell them where we'll be, I could. But I'll have to actually talk to them. You guys could go and have fun, though. Like, after graduation, I'm all yours. And... maybe I can talk them into it." She sighs and turns her head to kiss Cash's chest.
"No, Fel. Not without you. We will go after graduation. I'll take a little out of my college fund and we'll make a week of it. A respite after a long fucking year." Cash gives both of his loves a kiss and shakes his head. "So fucking weird. Three of us like this. Awesome but I don't know how I got so lucky. Okay...so, uh, no fucking off. I guess I'll get it in gear. Start vocal rest." He cringes. "It's neat though...getting that part in the musical? Oh, Fel. These people didn't know I could really sing until I stepped up. And then...Cash Freeland as Warden." He laughs softly.
Hector reaches over to stroke her hair, "Would it be better or worse if you were dating one of us? He's right, you know. It wouldn't be the same without you." He eyes her, "I've been meaning to ask, do you like being called that nickname the girls use or does it have history?" He kisses Cash's jaw, "I knew you could sing, Angel Love."
Felicity smiles and kisses back, snuggling happily. "I'll ask. Maybe they'll say yes. I think knowing I was dating one of you would just bring more questions and make it less likely. Honestly 'I'm going off on a trip with the gay guys' would sound safer to most teenager girls' parents that 'off for a weekend in a different city with my new boyfriend'." She grins and nuzzles Cash. "I'm so very, very proud of you, by the way. Did I mention that?" Then she's considering Hector's second question. "Which? Flick? You can totally call me Flick if you want. It was never mean. I think it was half because I'd sort of zoom by off to do whatever. It's just easier to say than Felicity." She shrugs.
"The Gay Guys. First, they will ask which, assuming you mean Jaden." Cash says, smirking. His mood is lifting. "Then, you tell them, no, the ones who have one another's initials tattooed on their hands. The ones who say they are 'married'. Do air quotes. Then tell them that Freeland had his name changed. Because I did." And he starts to pull out his driver's license to prove it. "Flick? I...I think of the horse. Flicka? Fel or Eff. To go with Aitch. I like that, if you don't mind?" He wraps an arm around Hector. "I call him Endless Sky. Privately. You'll get a fancy name too, I promise." He winks.
Hector lightly caresses her cheek, her jaw. "Okay, secret lovers it is as far as your family is concerned. I keep thinking, Fel, but that has unfortunate meanings. I'll see how I feel about Flick. Really I want something that's just you, but I never was a poet or a lyricist and I can't think of something that captures, I don't know, the you of you." He contemplates her seriously, "Trouble isn't a good nickname, i think.... how about Fierce, or is that weird? I'm thinking... something about the way your intelligence stabs to the heart of things." He wrinkles his nose, "It's no good is it? Maybe when I know you better.... Maybe Eff after all."
He croons, "Cash Ian de la Huerta," pronouncing his last name the Portuguese way. He kisses his ear, his shoulder, then leans his head against it. "There are a lot of things to work out, but really, I just want to cuddle in the pillow fort."
Felicity snorts and sort of leans over until she's kind in both their laps, looking up at them. "You can each call me whatever you want to call me. And I'd probably be more like, 'Hey, so, Cash invited me along on a trip this weekend, with his boyfriend Hector. I know I've been out a lot, but I've been keeping up on my work and APs are done, so can I go with them? Here's where we'd be staying and when we'd be back.' And just let them assume things. No lying. If questioned later, I can totally point out that absolutely none of that was a lie. And it's not like anyone would be surprised by me hanging out with you. I could potentially add 'They're being really sweet and invited me to tag along with them to prom, too'. All true. The best lies are true. I can do short-term lying when I need to cover over something, but long term..." Then she grins, "And what should I call each of you? There should be pet names!" followed by a delighted giggle.
"He calls me Angel which...feels backwards. I dunno." Cash says with a little shrug. "You call me whatever you want. My name feels like a nickname anyway. And hey, none of what I said was a lie. I have no guile. Not an ounce. So, I like the truth. And with us, the truth is perfect. Like, in all the ways..." He reaches out to pet her hair. "I'll braid this for you in the morning." Cash gazes down at her and then looks to Hector. He meets their eyes for a moment before saying, "Just...stay safe out there. I don't..." He pauses. "If you should ever leave me//Though life would still go on believe me//The world could show nothing to me//So what good would living do me?..." He sings, in that delicate way that make it sound like a lullaby. "God only knows what I'd be without you..." He taps both of them on the nose. "Stay with me. That's all I ask."
Hector smiles down at her, "I can give you Sean's parents name and address. If we crash there one night you won't be lying and his parents would likely vouch. We've been friends since we were like twelve or something." His lashes lower, "Call me anything you like. I just... I'm really happy you're here even with everything, Eff."
He kisses Cash's cheek, "It's not. It was like I heard an angel singing and the light hit your curls and you were so... sweet and shy and so you and you rescued me from... all the dark stuff going on, at least for a while and that Summer was so blessed and when you let me kiss you... you're my Angel love. If I'm an angel, I'm fallen, or at least I sauntered vaguely down. Also you look really good in wings." He lashes him a quick, wicked smile, remembering. He sings back softly, a different song, "To die by your side, oh the pleasure, the privilege is mine.... But let's wait until we're all wrinkly, okay?"
Felicity practically melts as Cash sings to them and then shivers once he finishes and beams. "Yeah, but your way was protesting too much, and mine has a much stronger hint of 'my childhood best friend is feeling sorry for me'. It's all about the presentation. The goal is to make Ellen think 'friends trying to cheer her up' and not 'two hot guys who are totally planning to have a bunch of sex with her'." And maybe the Bloomquist charm can help smooth things over as well. Then she oohs at Hector. "Yeah, an old friend's parents they can call would totally help." She grins and then blinks. "Oh! Wait! That means you've read Good Omens, right?! I thought I was like the only one! People keep looking at me funny when I tell them it's a hilarious book about the apocalypse."
Cash bursts into laughter. "You missed the Marchant masquerade! Let's say I finally finished the book in time for it. And the Thistle upstairs smelled like hair bleach for a few days. And we marked the lawn with our angelic and demonic scents. God damn, that was a nice night..."
Hector grins down at her, "Darling, Angel Love here made an amazing Aziraphale, of course, and I was his Crowley. Love and cleverness and being really truly human saving the world? So right and perfect. Also that book is hilarious. Jezebel! Sprouts! Grievous Bodily Harm!" he sighs, "I miss going out at night. I miss our cemetery.
Felicity laughs, just laughs and laughs and stretches up to kiss each of you, eyes dancing. "Well, clearly this really was destined." She sighs happily and snuggles in closer.